How To Restart A Yoga Practice, Even (and Especially) If You Have Chronic Pain
Photo: Emma Weiss
In the past months I’ve heard so many people talk about the difficulty they’ve had restarting a yoga practice.
If that rings a bell, please know that you are not alone. And if coming back to yoga feels very daunting, even just the tiniest shift in your world may help you find your way back, maybe sooner than you think.
In this post I’ll share a little of my experience of stepping away from yoga, and how I’ve managed to keep coming back.
When I started practicing yoga, in my early forties, I was all in. I loved it. I would go to several classes each week, and before long I started practicing on my own, at home. But after about a year, I began to experience little lapses where I just couldn’t make myself do it anymore. It would start with what felt like a little pause - I’d skip a class or two, I’d skip any kind of home practice. Then a few weeks would go by and the pause would gain momentum. The weeks would slide into months. A few times the months slid into whole seasons where I didn’t unroll my mat once. It happened over and over again.
The pauses usually coincided with feelings of overwhelm, usually with persistent back pain, or work stress, or caregiving responsibilities, or general feelings of depression or the state of the world. There were times when it seemed like every part of me hurt, and even though I knew yoga would help me feel better, it felt impossible to get started again.
I tried various things to motivate myself. I’d sign up for classes and resolve to go to X number of classes next week. I’d tote my yoga mat back and forth to work, day after day, thinking I’d get it together to drag myself to a favorite yoga studio on the way home. And so many times, under the guise of self care. I would give myself permission to just go home and collapse on the couch in front of the television.
Looking back, I can see pretty clearly that the times when I stepped away from yoga tended to coincide with times when things were happening in my life that I just didn’t feel equipped to deal with at the time. (This is interesting in retrospect, as I’ve come to believe that one of the hallmarks of a yoga practice is that it makes you face yourself. But that’s a story for another day.)
Whatever the reason, once the inertia had set in, I was finished. Once I lost the habit of a regular yoga practice (there’s a reason it’s called a practice!) it felt impossible to start up again. And the longer the pause, the worse I felt.
And then, unpredictably, some little thing would push me just over the edge to a place where I could start to see my way back.
My back would feel a little better, or I’d suddenly notice the smell of spring, or I’d feel replenished after spending a couple of hours looking at art. Something would break the dam, and when enough of those little “somethings” had accumulated, I’d be ready to come back. I’d start with baby steps - maybe a weekend class with a teacher I trusted. And I’d feel that connection with other people, all having their own experiences and struggles, practicing together in real time, and I’d recognize that I wasn’t alone.
Sometimes it took a few false starts. But, interestingly, I usually found that re-starting could be just as easy as stopping. The rewards were tangible and immediate. All the good things started flooding back. I felt better and I wanted more of that.
Over time, I’ve gained some insight as to what helped me get to that place - as well as what didn’t help. Maybe these will help you get there too.
Don’t beat yourself up. You’re probably already suffering, so try not to lay more of that on yourself. You haven’t lost anything by stepping away. In fact, the pause may have been necessary in order for you to do some other important work and get to a place where you’re ready to restart.
Do try to ease up on the expectation of what a yoga practice should look like. It doesn’t have to involve a lot of poses, or be an hour long, or be the exercise yoga you used to do. Maybe it doesn’t have to involve pushing yourself. If you can spend five minutes on the living room floor every couple of days, breathing and listening to yourself, that is your yoga practice. If you can get yourself to a familiar, welcoming class once a week, that is your perfectly wonderful and legitimate yoga practice. Yoga is nothing if not adaptable to all kinds of changing circumstances.
Do keep an eye out for those little somethings that brighten the day - the spring breeze, the new book, the funny dog you met on your way home. One of these might just tip the scale enough to bring you back to the mat.
Do look for opportunities to practice in real time, with a real teacher you can trust, and with other people. It doesn’t have to be onsite someplace - you can absolutely find community practicing on zoom from your own home. But practicing live, in community, has so many more benefits than a recorded class with a stranger. Put yourself in good hands and in good company.
As I write this, in late February, I realize there’s something about late winter and early spring that reminds me of times I felt the terrible inertia that kept me from my practice. So if you’re feeling that, please know you’re not alone. There are lots of us nearby.
To be clear, yoga is not first line treatment for chronic pain, anxiety, or depression. But the right yoga practice is a great support for all the other things you are doing to take care of your health. (And if you’d like to chat about that, I’d love to hear from you.
Are you interested in starting or restarting a yoga practice? What's holding you back? Send me a message on Facebook or email info@bethkaplanyoga.com and let’s chat.